Friday, November 21, 2008
Open yourself
If we want to be loved, we must disclose ourselves. If we want to love someone, he must permit us to know him. This would seem to be obvious. Yet most of us spend a great part of our lives thinking up ways to avoid becoming known.Indeed, much of human life is best described as impersonation. We are role players, every one of us. We say that we feel things we do not feel. We say things we did not do. We say that we believe things we do not believe. We pretend that we are loving when we are full of hostility. We pretend that we are calm and indifferent when we are actually trembling with anxiety and fear.Of course we cannot tell even the people we know and love everything we think or feel. But our mistakes are nearly always in the other direction. Even in families -- good families -- people wear masks a great deal of the time.
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1 comment:
Seems variable state of mind thinking at random!
'Open up and become lovable' is quite a true statement. It is essential for everybody to open up. Everybody desires that people should open up with them but the hardly cares how much they open up with others. Nobody loves you unless they don't know you. The best thing in this life is that you should have someone with whom you can open up and can share the things you need to. For that you have to trust people. People, in general, have a natural tendency of not trusting which vary from person to person. If trusting everyone is a bad option then not to trust anybody is definitely is a worse option. Sooner or later you have to trust someone and there is always a first time for every person to trust and to be trusted. Ironically, most of the people don't like to trust but desires to be trusted by everyone. This one way traffic never helps anybody. People who like to trust get pissed off when others don't trust them while people who don't trust others also gets pissed off when they don't find anyone worth trusting ( Do they really like to trust ?). That leads to the misunderstanding and distrust in any relationship or bond irrespective of their desires to continue the relationship.
What we say should reflect in our action as our deeds and behavior is the justified proof of any our character. Sometimes we say just for the sake of saying or due to some other reasons which, in real, seems a well known lie to others. That ridicules the trust and hence the relationship, by default. Sometime we doubt people beyond limits and that's another major aspect of distrust. Once a doubt get a place in someone's mind it has a tendency to remain their forever. The best remedy for this is to clear the doubts as soon as possible because delay invites saturation in doubts. Every person may have doubts, more or less, right or wrong, and they should be eliminated as soon as possible. But yes, I would like to say, honest doubts are much better then pre-assumed conclusions. So, if you have doubts and/or are being doubted by someone then it should be your first preference to clear them.
Life is short and there is not enough time to try and trust people again and again. One who trusts people has better probabilities to find a trustworthy person than the person who don't trust anybody.
People might be wearing masks but if we get closer to them and have a better look we can easily distinguish between the mask and the real face. But for that we have to travel a few yards towards them.
You can't find the jewels by mere sitting at the seashore and wishing. You have to dive and you must if you need them.
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