Poverty of Soul — Complete Self-giving, Self-emptying love without regard for oneself — Why this is the only valid path of austere n pure love?
I read this statement somewhere, and it made me think about the power of love. Here's my interpretation of the statement.
Can two people love equally ? Is it possible for two people to feel for each other with equal intensity?
Lovers may lie to each other and get into stupid arguments like, 'I love you more' or 'I miss you more' . In life, the relative reality and equation between lovers is as - when two people are in love, one person will love the other more...and the one who loves less controls the relationship. That unfortunately is the starge fact of life. In all other spheres of life, you get more for when you give more.... you work more, you might get paid more.... you study more, you get better grades...and so more.
But you love more and you loose control of the relationship. The one who loves more will want the relationship more and will do more to keep it going...and sacrifice more in the bargain...bear more insults...hurt more and even compromise more. One keeps on emptying oneself,,, giving oneself to the other to the ultimate. And the more you give, the less you get in return.
I say this is the poverty of soul... that we keep begging for the love, without any regard for the self. Why love makes one so weak ?
Some say love is pure, selfless, and undemanding. Expect nothing in return. No scope for any deception, greed, blame or blemish. "Niswarth Nishchhal Nirvikaar Prem". This kind of love is not poverty of soul but enriching and empowering purity of soul.
I would say this kinda love exists only in literature,, not in real practical life. No love is without expectations. How so pure n unexpecting your love may be,,,,,,But how long you can love someone n keep pouring everything, if you dont get any in return....???
They say love is the strength...but only if there's a balance...both the loves love on an average scale. Both need space, both need to stay away a bit, both feel suffocated with too much of love. (which is rare) . But if one person in the relationship feels that way and the other feels he/she loves more, wants the relationship more, wants more permanancy,,,,,then the real problem starts. We become helpless. We have no control over our own senses, our own emotions. Love or the demand of love makes us vulnerable. We are ready to do anything to get love. Like a begger, begging for the love from the person you love. And here you looses the control over the relationship and become a puppet in the hands of the person you love.
But when in love, we can not do much about this. It's not in our power to love more or less. We just love as we know how to. But the next time we are hurt, we compromise and bear the insult of being not loved the way we love,,,, bear it with a smile and remember the equation. It's not the power of our lover over us, it's the power of our love that makes us weak.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Zindagi
Meri zindagi itni tanha, itni veeran kyun hai
Ek chhoti se thes pe umad padta ye sailab kyun hai,
Main jitni door manjil ki talaash mein jata hun
Mujhse utni hi door ye saahil chala jata kyun hai.
Ek chhoti se thes pe umad padta ye sailab kyun hai,
Main jitni door manjil ki talaash mein jata hun
Mujhse utni hi door ye saahil chala jata kyun hai.
Self Affirmations
I believe I am
a unique and precious human being
my own best friend and my
own worst enemy.
A lovable and loving person
capable of realizing my potential
self respecting
responsible for my own behavior.
learning from my mistakes
creating a joyful life
an important part
of the Universe.
a unique and precious human being
my own best friend and my
own worst enemy.
A lovable and loving person
capable of realizing my potential
self respecting
responsible for my own behavior.
learning from my mistakes
creating a joyful life
an important part
of the Universe.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Mohabbat
ख्वाब तो सजाए थे आरजू भी थी
तुझे सवारने में लुटा दूँ मैं ज़िन्दगी अपनी
तमन्ना थी दिल में जिस मोहब्बत की
उसे पाने को भुला दूँ दुनिया की ख़ुशी
एक मेरा भी घर हो एक मेरी भी दुनिया
जिसकी बुनियाद में हो मेरे दिल की लगी
जिसकी हवाओं में हो तेरे प्यार की खुशबू
जिसके आँगन में हो मेरे प्यार की कली....
मगर ये क्या, कदम उठने से पहले ही
रह गयी मेरी हर ख्वाइश अधूरी
बहारों को भी था रश्क जिस पर
खिजां के फूल की तरह मुरझा गयी वो ही कली
हकीकत से जब रूबरू हुई तो
ख्वाब बन कर रह गयी उल्फत तेरी
मुड़कर जो पीछे देखा मैंने
एक टूटी हुई आस नज़र आयी
झाँका जो दिल के झरोखों में अपने
मोहब्बत करते करते भी ज़फा नज़र आयी
नज़र उठाई या पलक झुकाई हर पल
दिल को चीर गयी तेरी आँखों की गहराई
दिल के जख्मों को जब देखा तो पाई
तेरी यादें और एक खामोश तन्हाई
अज़ब ये खेल देखा मैंने उल्फत का
मुझे क्या से क्या बना गयी ये प्रीत तेरी
और खुद मुझको ही था गुमाँ जिस पर
एक सवाल बन कर रह गयी वही ज़िन्दगी मेरी
तुझे सवारने में लुटा दूँ मैं ज़िन्दगी अपनी
तमन्ना थी दिल में जिस मोहब्बत की
उसे पाने को भुला दूँ दुनिया की ख़ुशी
एक मेरा भी घर हो एक मेरी भी दुनिया
जिसकी बुनियाद में हो मेरे दिल की लगी
जिसकी हवाओं में हो तेरे प्यार की खुशबू
जिसके आँगन में हो मेरे प्यार की कली....
मगर ये क्या, कदम उठने से पहले ही
रह गयी मेरी हर ख्वाइश अधूरी
बहारों को भी था रश्क जिस पर
खिजां के फूल की तरह मुरझा गयी वो ही कली
हकीकत से जब रूबरू हुई तो
ख्वाब बन कर रह गयी उल्फत तेरी
मुड़कर जो पीछे देखा मैंने
एक टूटी हुई आस नज़र आयी
झाँका जो दिल के झरोखों में अपने
मोहब्बत करते करते भी ज़फा नज़र आयी
नज़र उठाई या पलक झुकाई हर पल
दिल को चीर गयी तेरी आँखों की गहराई
दिल के जख्मों को जब देखा तो पाई
तेरी यादें और एक खामोश तन्हाई
अज़ब ये खेल देखा मैंने उल्फत का
मुझे क्या से क्या बना गयी ये प्रीत तेरी
और खुद मुझको ही था गुमाँ जिस पर
एक सवाल बन कर रह गयी वही ज़िन्दगी मेरी
Saturday, October 27, 2007
My Poems
जिन्दगी के मोड्
जिन्दगी के मोड् खुद किस-किस तरफ़ को ले गए
उम्र ढलती गई और हम सोचते ही रह गए,
इक दौर था जब सफ़र में हर शख्स अपने साथ था
उस कारवां के अब यहां बस नामो-निशान ही रह गए,
जब ज़िन्दगी की शाम ढली तो बुझ गइ जलती श़मा
और यूं तड़पते हुए परवाने सब सह गए,
रवां थी कश्ती मगर हर तरफ़ अन्धेरा था
चराग दिल की लौ से जलाकर हम उजाला कर गये
ग़म से मुझे कोई रंज नहीं पर अऱमान खुशियों का था
अब आंसू की तो बात ही क्या हम ज़हर हंस कर पी गए,
तो क्या हुआ ग़र ज़िन्दगी ने दर्द का दामन दिया
हमने उसमें भी खु़शी के हर रंग भर दिए,
ऊंचे-नीचे रास्तों पे कइ बार जब लड़्खड़ाए कदम
इक बार ठहरे, फिर संभल कर हम ज़िन्दगी को जी गए।
जिन्दगी के मोड् खुद किस-किस तरफ़ को ले गए
उम्र ढलती गई और हम सोचते ही रह गए,
इक दौर था जब सफ़र में हर शख्स अपने साथ था
उस कारवां के अब यहां बस नामो-निशान ही रह गए,
जब ज़िन्दगी की शाम ढली तो बुझ गइ जलती श़मा
और यूं तड़पते हुए परवाने सब सह गए,
रवां थी कश्ती मगर हर तरफ़ अन्धेरा था
चराग दिल की लौ से जलाकर हम उजाला कर गये
ग़म से मुझे कोई रंज नहीं पर अऱमान खुशियों का था
अब आंसू की तो बात ही क्या हम ज़हर हंस कर पी गए,
तो क्या हुआ ग़र ज़िन्दगी ने दर्द का दामन दिया
हमने उसमें भी खु़शी के हर रंग भर दिए,
ऊंचे-नीचे रास्तों पे कइ बार जब लड़्खड़ाए कदम
इक बार ठहरे, फिर संभल कर हम ज़िन्दगी को जी गए।
Koshish
Ek koshish,nakaam si koshish ki humne,
tujhe pane ki,tere ho jane ki hasrat bhool chuke hain,
teri khushiyon ki lekin ab bhi chah rakhte hain,
yakeen hai humko tum hum per yakeen nahin kerte,
hum bhi tere zafa se ab tut chuke hain,
gile-shikve ab hadd se guzar gaye,
jo humko mila saken wo raahein kho gayi,
bandhan the jo saare wo khul gaye,
lekin dil se judi ek taar shayad ab bhi baaki hai,
tujhse ek baar haal-e-dil bayan ker saken
bas ye tamanna rakhte hain,
tum aa jao, ke hum ab bhi intezaar kerte hain.
tujhe pane ki,tere ho jane ki hasrat bhool chuke hain,
teri khushiyon ki lekin ab bhi chah rakhte hain,
yakeen hai humko tum hum per yakeen nahin kerte,
hum bhi tere zafa se ab tut chuke hain,
gile-shikve ab hadd se guzar gaye,
jo humko mila saken wo raahein kho gayi,
bandhan the jo saare wo khul gaye,
lekin dil se judi ek taar shayad ab bhi baaki hai,
tujhse ek baar haal-e-dil bayan ker saken
bas ye tamanna rakhte hain,
tum aa jao, ke hum ab bhi intezaar kerte hain.
Ways of Life
" On the paths of Life
I kept moving,
In the search of
meeting my destiny.
Then one fine day
suddenly i met her,
Feeling delighted and
on the top of World.
We walked for a while
side by side,
Sharing our Dreams
and praying alike.
I was feeling to ask
her something,
dont leave me now
lonely to being.
But to my surprise
before i ask,
destiny herself
left a mark.
Asked me
for a promise,
to never leave her
whtever the cause.
In tough and toll
my heart had cried,
But i kept my word
thou was deprived.
And then ....!
Again one day
to my shock,
Destiny vanished
leaving me robbed,
Shattering my faith ForEver."
I kept moving,
In the search of
meeting my destiny.
Then one fine day
suddenly i met her,
Feeling delighted and
on the top of World.
We walked for a while
side by side,
Sharing our Dreams
and praying alike.
I was feeling to ask
her something,
dont leave me now
lonely to being.
But to my surprise
before i ask,
destiny herself
left a mark.
Asked me
for a promise,
to never leave her
whtever the cause.
In tough and toll
my heart had cried,
But i kept my word
thou was deprived.
And then ....!
Again one day
to my shock,
Destiny vanished
leaving me robbed,
Shattering my faith ForEver."
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Sting Operation - The Big Question...???
In this stinking sting operation on Delhi school teacher Uma Khurana, the big question is who's logical here....??? Was public outrage logical,,was administration logical,,, was police logical ,,, was print media logical---as the news was front page headline the nxt day with torn cloths of the teacher--,,, the various news channels,,,and forget about the Live India- and the Journalist and the said aspiring reporter... Who amongst these was logical...???
Issue here is not about sting operartions,,, I myself said in earlier post, they are important tool to reveal scams. But this kinda sting operation... it seriously stinks.... as it was totally fake. Instigated by some to settle personal scores with the lady,,, done by some to hype their careers n allowed by channel without checking the validity of the content.
It was a serious lapse. Journalism also should have some ethical codes. How can you play with the life of some innocent person.....???? Think about the person victimised,,,, It ll have life long effects on her life.The present case was different from all earlier ones,,, thou media has always played hoax n irresponsibe,,, but not like this. Here the life of the targeted person will never be same again. The false allegations made against the lady are extremely malign, so denouncing, so vicious, n so imfamous...... it wud be almost impossible for her to regain the lost respect n dignity in her life. On one thought it can be said that "in some things there tend to be a silver lining after all....who knows now maybe this would deter others from doing similar misdemeanors! " But the cost is very high.
And as far as the quality Journalism is concerned,,,this one was captured by every reputed national daily. Barkha Dutt herself said in her article "A Tale in the Sting" that "We can no longer pretend that the recent conjured up operation in Delhi is an aberration we can afford to ignore. Before the government uses the exception to thrust its own set of motivated rules on us, let us in the industry admit that we need a code of conduct. We must be ready for the scrutiny we subject others to. Because when the reporter becomes the story, the news takes a backseat."
My biggest concern in this case is how can you target one's life so meanly. Have media lost all ethics....!!!
Issue here is not about sting operartions,,, I myself said in earlier post, they are important tool to reveal scams. But this kinda sting operation... it seriously stinks.... as it was totally fake. Instigated by some to settle personal scores with the lady,,, done by some to hype their careers n allowed by channel without checking the validity of the content.
It was a serious lapse. Journalism also should have some ethical codes. How can you play with the life of some innocent person.....???? Think about the person victimised,,,, It ll have life long effects on her life.The present case was different from all earlier ones,,, thou media has always played hoax n irresponsibe,,, but not like this. Here the life of the targeted person will never be same again. The false allegations made against the lady are extremely malign, so denouncing, so vicious, n so imfamous...... it wud be almost impossible for her to regain the lost respect n dignity in her life. On one thought it can be said that "in some things there tend to be a silver lining after all....who knows now maybe this would deter others from doing similar misdemeanors! " But the cost is very high.
And as far as the quality Journalism is concerned,,,this one was captured by every reputed national daily. Barkha Dutt herself said in her article "A Tale in the Sting" that "We can no longer pretend that the recent conjured up operation in Delhi is an aberration we can afford to ignore. Before the government uses the exception to thrust its own set of motivated rules on us, let us in the industry admit that we need a code of conduct. We must be ready for the scrutiny we subject others to. Because when the reporter becomes the story, the news takes a backseat."
My biggest concern in this case is how can you target one's life so meanly. Have media lost all ethics....!!!
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sting OR Stink Operation...!!!
It was very unfortunate what happened with Delhi school teacher Uma Khurana. This time the sting has badly failed and raises the issuse of the Journalism's integrity n sincerety once again.
I agree that some of the sting operations have helped unveil some serious scams. If well used , they are invaluable tool for justice; but lately the mushrooming channels n journos have started using them just for the sake of publicity n shortly lived temptations. This cheap business raising TRPs with their Sansani kinda breaking news is very ingenuine and challenges the authenticity of journalism.
The biggest pitfall of this sting was that the girl who posed as the victim, was herself an aspiring reporter. If reporters ll start using such kinda cheap tactics to uplift their careers,,, what ll be the future of Journalism !!!
And our crazy mob,,, they take no time in reacting. They reached the school nxt morning, thrashed the teacher badly. The admistration also acted on impulse too irrationally, sacking her without any enquiry being conducted. No one even gave a chance to the poor lady to speak n explain n make her position clear. The channel CEO put all the blame on the reporters and saved his skin. The journos may get some punishment after trial of law. But will happen to the madam khurana. Thou out on bail today, would she ll ever be able to regain her lost respect? Will students ever look upon her with the same dignity? Would she be able to build up a clean n esteemed image in the minds of people again? Her reputation as a person and more as a teacher is severly damaged. Look at the horror she has developed after the infamous scandal,,,,,,, when said, "I would like to get back to teaching, but not to the same school.I ll never enter the premises there."
What else to say, the whole incidence was extremely disgraceful.
I agree that some of the sting operations have helped unveil some serious scams. If well used , they are invaluable tool for justice; but lately the mushrooming channels n journos have started using them just for the sake of publicity n shortly lived temptations. This cheap business raising TRPs with their Sansani kinda breaking news is very ingenuine and challenges the authenticity of journalism.
The biggest pitfall of this sting was that the girl who posed as the victim, was herself an aspiring reporter. If reporters ll start using such kinda cheap tactics to uplift their careers,,, what ll be the future of Journalism !!!
And our crazy mob,,, they take no time in reacting. They reached the school nxt morning, thrashed the teacher badly. The admistration also acted on impulse too irrationally, sacking her without any enquiry being conducted. No one even gave a chance to the poor lady to speak n explain n make her position clear. The channel CEO put all the blame on the reporters and saved his skin. The journos may get some punishment after trial of law. But will happen to the madam khurana. Thou out on bail today, would she ll ever be able to regain her lost respect? Will students ever look upon her with the same dignity? Would she be able to build up a clean n esteemed image in the minds of people again? Her reputation as a person and more as a teacher is severly damaged. Look at the horror she has developed after the infamous scandal,,,,,,, when said, "I would like to get back to teaching, but not to the same school.I ll never enter the premises there."
What else to say, the whole incidence was extremely disgraceful.
Friday, August 31, 2007
Do you believe in astrology ?
Whether I believe in astrology or not ?... I'll say I dont much.
I am not able to understand, how the directions or particular position of various stars in the solar system may affect our lives.... or how these self proclaimed predictioners can make predictions about our future n life, based on stars positions in our birth charts. And how they can assert that wid certain so called upayas , the position of stars can be changed. I really dont understand it. Thou wont lie, a couple of times in life, I myself went to the pandits n performed some upayas also. But truly, I could not fit that into my thought process. Well I think, We all have our insecurities, and these people take advantage of that and we do it beacause we do not see any harm, may be some monetary or time loss. If something bad happenes and you did not follow their advice then we start thinking may be there is some truth. No horoscopes, no pandits can tell about what lies ahead ??? Tell me, at one given time, at one place, many children take birth, the horoscopes for them wud be same with same position of different starts in different houses, Do they all share similar destiny? Nahin na !
I believe we come with a pre-destined life..... Kismet mein jo likha hai wahi hoga, na usse jyada, na usse kam, na waqt se pehle, na uske baad. There's that wise saying na - "Waqt se pehle aur kismet se jyada kabhi kisi ko nahi milta". There is a fixed time for everything, and how the things ll turn out, we can not predict... what we can do is best n sincere efforts on our part.
So I believe in faith, in destiny,in spirituality, in positivity...but in astrology n horoscopes, perhaps not !
Recently I read Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam's Autobiography. I quote few lines from there to share with all - "Quite honestly, I never really understood the reason behind the great importance attached by people to the faraway planets in our solar system. As an art, I have nothing against astrology, but if it seeks acceptance under the guise of science, I reject it. I do not know how the myths evoled about planets, star constellations and even satellites-that they can exercise power on human beings. The highly complicated calculations manipulated around the precise movements of celestial bodies, to derive highly subjective conclusions appear illogical to me". From- WINGS OF FIRE - An Autobiography - A P J Abdul Kalam, page 15.
Disclaimer - This is my thinking. I apologize if it hurts anyone's feelings. Different and even contradictory comments are welcome. To get to know different opinions is the purpose behind this post.
I am not able to understand, how the directions or particular position of various stars in the solar system may affect our lives.... or how these self proclaimed predictioners can make predictions about our future n life, based on stars positions in our birth charts. And how they can assert that wid certain so called upayas , the position of stars can be changed. I really dont understand it. Thou wont lie, a couple of times in life, I myself went to the pandits n performed some upayas also. But truly, I could not fit that into my thought process. Well I think, We all have our insecurities, and these people take advantage of that and we do it beacause we do not see any harm, may be some monetary or time loss. If something bad happenes and you did not follow their advice then we start thinking may be there is some truth. No horoscopes, no pandits can tell about what lies ahead ??? Tell me, at one given time, at one place, many children take birth, the horoscopes for them wud be same with same position of different starts in different houses, Do they all share similar destiny? Nahin na !
I believe we come with a pre-destined life..... Kismet mein jo likha hai wahi hoga, na usse jyada, na usse kam, na waqt se pehle, na uske baad. There's that wise saying na - "Waqt se pehle aur kismet se jyada kabhi kisi ko nahi milta". There is a fixed time for everything, and how the things ll turn out, we can not predict... what we can do is best n sincere efforts on our part.
So I believe in faith, in destiny,in spirituality, in positivity...but in astrology n horoscopes, perhaps not !
Recently I read Dr. A.P.J.Abdul Kalam's Autobiography. I quote few lines from there to share with all - "Quite honestly, I never really understood the reason behind the great importance attached by people to the faraway planets in our solar system. As an art, I have nothing against astrology, but if it seeks acceptance under the guise of science, I reject it. I do not know how the myths evoled about planets, star constellations and even satellites-that they can exercise power on human beings. The highly complicated calculations manipulated around the precise movements of celestial bodies, to derive highly subjective conclusions appear illogical to me". From- WINGS OF FIRE - An Autobiography - A P J Abdul Kalam, page 15.
Disclaimer - This is my thinking. I apologize if it hurts anyone's feelings. Different and even contradictory comments are welcome. To get to know different opinions is the purpose behind this post.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Beauty - Fashion, Slavery and Salvation !!!
Of course beauty is fashion, No way it commands slavery, but yea it can be salvational.
What is beauty ?
Well a common idea suggests that beauty exists in the appearance of things and people that are good. A good apple will be perceived as more beautiful than a bruised one. Also, most people judge physically attractive human beings to be good, both physically and on a deeper level. Specifically, they are believed to possess a variety of positive traits and personality characteristics. Someone said, Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree……….... and they're amazing.Though, people may be good and not beautiful, or beautiful but not good. The characterization of a person as "beautiful", whether on an individual basis or by community consensus, is often based on some combination of inner beauty, and outer beauty. Like most I too agree with this quote -"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart" ~Kahlil Gibran. But at the same....It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.
Why do people deify it?
Do u believe that beauty will save the world by making man refashion himself its image n likeliness???
Beauty may not save the world by refashioning the man, but somehow it acts as a saviour for the beings. Beauty has inspired humans throughout history. Researchers have found that good looking students get higher grades from their teachers than students with an ordinary appearance. Furthermore, attractive patients receive more personalized care from their doctors. Studies have even shown that handsome criminals receive lighter sentences than less attractive convicts. How much money a person earns may also be influenced by physical beauty. One study found that people low in physical attractiveness earn 5 to 10 percent less than ordinary looking people, who in turn earn 3 to 8 percent less than those who are considered good looking. Such kinda discrimination against others based on their appearance is known as lookism. Beautiful people usually enjoy an image-based and/or financially-based prestige which enhances their aura of success, power, and beauty. Though these findings can't be applied to all and sundry, such instances are seen generally. Beauty presents a standard of comparison, and it can cause resentment and dissatisfaction when not achieved. And perhaps this is one of the reasons that people deify beauty.
What is beauty ?
Well a common idea suggests that beauty exists in the appearance of things and people that are good. A good apple will be perceived as more beautiful than a bruised one. Also, most people judge physically attractive human beings to be good, both physically and on a deeper level. Specifically, they are believed to possess a variety of positive traits and personality characteristics. Someone said, Girls are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree……….... and they're amazing.Though, people may be good and not beautiful, or beautiful but not good. The characterization of a person as "beautiful", whether on an individual basis or by community consensus, is often based on some combination of inner beauty, and outer beauty. Like most I too agree with this quote -"Beauty is not in the face; beauty is a light in the heart" ~Kahlil Gibran. But at the same....It's beauty that captures your attention; personality which captures your heart.
Why do people deify it?
Do u believe that beauty will save the world by making man refashion himself its image n likeliness???
Beauty may not save the world by refashioning the man, but somehow it acts as a saviour for the beings. Beauty has inspired humans throughout history. Researchers have found that good looking students get higher grades from their teachers than students with an ordinary appearance. Furthermore, attractive patients receive more personalized care from their doctors. Studies have even shown that handsome criminals receive lighter sentences than less attractive convicts. How much money a person earns may also be influenced by physical beauty. One study found that people low in physical attractiveness earn 5 to 10 percent less than ordinary looking people, who in turn earn 3 to 8 percent less than those who are considered good looking. Such kinda discrimination against others based on their appearance is known as lookism. Beautiful people usually enjoy an image-based and/or financially-based prestige which enhances their aura of success, power, and beauty. Though these findings can't be applied to all and sundry, such instances are seen generally. Beauty presents a standard of comparison, and it can cause resentment and dissatisfaction when not achieved. And perhaps this is one of the reasons that people deify beauty.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Face On, Face Off
They say, Face is the Index of Behaviour. Behavior, overt or covert, both are significant. Is the face or our external behaviour always a reflection of our internal behaviour ? If we take it as true, then I wonder on the behavior of many people. Specially abt Jats, as is mostly observed, they are harsh in their tones, rough in their approach, sometimes considered even rude. But equally is popular that they are very kind hearted, very simple, very pure at their hearts. But until this simplicity, this purity, this kindness is shown in words, until this internal behavior is expressed through external behavior, how we can make a show of our complete self ? No one can look into one's heart. What is obvious is true. So it's very important to show what we are. There should be one to one relationship between overt and covert.
Being Jats, as they are described, identified to be rough n tough, harsh; some feel very pride in being rude, rough(molad) in their behaviour. How to know what they are? They'll be judged from wht's seen to others. We let the world know about us by our deeds, by our actions, our responses, our reactions. So if we are rude, we are rough in this face on/show off business, how it's going to make an impact on others, so what we are the most kind, most sensible persons face off.
Being Jats, as they are described, identified to be rough n tough, harsh; some feel very pride in being rude, rough(molad) in their behaviour. How to know what they are? They'll be judged from wht's seen to others. We let the world know about us by our deeds, by our actions, our responses, our reactions. So if we are rude, we are rough in this face on/show off business, how it's going to make an impact on others, so what we are the most kind, most sensible persons face off.
Saturday, August 4, 2007
Experiences of Life
Experiences are part of life, or I should say Life's an experience. Experiences may be good or bad depending on the concequences. But from every experience, we learn something. I personally feel, we learn more from bad experiences. Such kinda experiences or failures in life help us improve for the better. We learn to be more tolerant. Recently I read a book and qouted something from that, which says, Failure is one of the most important ingredient for Success. Thou' its the most painful, but to be really successful, you must face failure.You have to experience it, feel it, taste it, suffer it. Only then you can shine. For once you taste failure, you have no fear. you can take risks more easily. then you don't want to snuggle in your comfort zone anymore-you are ready to fly. And success is about flying, not snuggling. So never be afraid of failures. If it has come your way, it means God wants to give you a real shot at being successful later. Winning always may keep us away from many risks of life, but as well then it ll keep us ignorant of many very important aspects of life and behavior. So when you face a failure next time, dont blame God for the difficult time,,,rather look ahead for the shining glories which have already set the stage for you. AS OLD SAYING "FAILURES ARE THE STEPPING STONES OF SUCCESS".
What do you say.....?
What do you say.....?
Laptop Bluesssssssssssssssss
It has been almost 2 months since me and my laptop departed. Now only few days are left when we ll be together again... but till then I m missing it like soooooooooo muchhhhhh.
These daily visits of cafes ve bored me, daily a valuable time in evenings go here.
Waiting for yu lappie.....:-)
These daily visits of cafes ve bored me, daily a valuable time in evenings go here.
Waiting for yu lappie.....:-)
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Why Do We Exist....? Continued....2
Now question comes why a person feels that way?
One of the reasons is the the Defense Mechanism Denial.
Denial is the Ego Defense Mechanism that simply disavows or denies thoughts, feelings, wishes or needs that cause anxiety.One is not able to accept the truth which threatens Ego and can be anxiety producing. The first reaction comes - This is not true. The state of mind at that time is - This can not happen to me !
This is an operation that works on an unconscious level completely to deny that which can not be dealt with consciously to protect the Ego from threatening incidences.
One of the reasons is the the Defense Mechanism Denial.
Denial is the Ego Defense Mechanism that simply disavows or denies thoughts, feelings, wishes or needs that cause anxiety.One is not able to accept the truth which threatens Ego and can be anxiety producing. The first reaction comes - This is not true. The state of mind at that time is - This can not happen to me !
This is an operation that works on an unconscious level completely to deny that which can not be dealt with consciously to protect the Ego from threatening incidences.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Why Do We Exist.....? Continued.......
Thinking further, some more issues made me ponder again....!
When someone ends his life, after being lost in love, Is it really because the person thinks he can't live without the person, whats the purpose of my living now.... so why n for whom I shud live....???
I wonder Is it really cause that you are left alone, feel lost, find no reason, loose all hopes n find no motive to live without that person, and so much so that you decide to end your life !!!
I say this is not the reason. One decides to end one's life not becus of this reason, Rather its the failure which one is unable to accept. One can't take the rejection positively. Its the feeling of being rejected, feeling of being failed. Our ego is hurt and we are not ready to accept /face the failure. Don't ve the strength of accepting failure wid grace n dignity. And is depressed to end life.
One may not agree with me, but ve a glance around you, how many people attemt suicide when they loose someone close( Be it any relation) to Death ??? Perhaps No One !!!
We know death is inevitable, we can rationalize this truth. We dont blame ourself for it, we don't take it as our failure. We accept it as destiny, and move ahead in the course of life facing the challenges.
Then why cant we do same when there 's a heart break, why cant we accept it as destiny, and learning from experiences, emerge as a much stronger person to deal with the coming challenges of life. Why block our vision of life by one person,,, there's always infinte more to explore n enjoy in life.
Hoping n praying for poor souls to be strong and accept the realities of life with grace.
When someone ends his life, after being lost in love, Is it really because the person thinks he can't live without the person, whats the purpose of my living now.... so why n for whom I shud live....???
I wonder Is it really cause that you are left alone, feel lost, find no reason, loose all hopes n find no motive to live without that person, and so much so that you decide to end your life !!!
I say this is not the reason. One decides to end one's life not becus of this reason, Rather its the failure which one is unable to accept. One can't take the rejection positively. Its the feeling of being rejected, feeling of being failed. Our ego is hurt and we are not ready to accept /face the failure. Don't ve the strength of accepting failure wid grace n dignity. And is depressed to end life.
One may not agree with me, but ve a glance around you, how many people attemt suicide when they loose someone close( Be it any relation) to Death ??? Perhaps No One !!!
We know death is inevitable, we can rationalize this truth. We dont blame ourself for it, we don't take it as our failure. We accept it as destiny, and move ahead in the course of life facing the challenges.
Then why cant we do same when there 's a heart break, why cant we accept it as destiny, and learning from experiences, emerge as a much stronger person to deal with the coming challenges of life. Why block our vision of life by one person,,, there's always infinte more to explore n enjoy in life.
Hoping n praying for poor souls to be strong and accept the realities of life with grace.
Saturday, July 28, 2007
WHY DO WE EXIST....???
The young generation of ours is becoming very vulnerable , recently I got to know about 2 suicidal attempts among my knowns, one was lucky, survived; but the other one was not. He left this world at the age of just 17, leaving loads of of miseries and question marks for his parents. Reasons behind both these attempt to end life were very meager. One scored badly in exams, and other had a heartbreak.
These incidences left me wid many blanks...!!! Are these sufferings severe enough to end one's life??? The level of tolerance of miseries is different for every individual. Some may cope with the stressors upto the acute extent, while some may give up at slightest of pain. Humanatarian and Existential Psychologists say Man should be allowed to use his free will, they reject any kind of determinism from any external factor.
They are free to live, so they should be free to die also. But how many want to die.. its only those who out of depression choose death over living. Otherwise there are uncountable no. of those who are suffering from severest of miseries, but still surviving. Thou all know that Death is inevitable, still everyone wants to keep it at the farthest end, its the ultimate desire to touch infinite.
Where as those who commit/attemt suicide perhaps loose all hope in life. I dont feel that their reasons for such decisions were because that life wasnt worth living for them anymore, rather because they were weaker souls/selfs, who were not able to cope up with, to face the hard core realities n struggles of life as well they were lacking a strong social support system in the face of their family and friends.
Escapism is always easier than meeting challenges. By ending one's life, one gets relieved from his miseries, but leave unanswred questions/never ending problems for his loved ones. Do these people feel that the reason for their living has ended with that one failure, be it of anything.
If so then it leaves me with a question.... what's the purpose of existence? why we are living...? What are the reasons for survival...? These kinda painful incidences keep coming in one's life, so SHALL WE END OUR LIFE.....???
These incidences left me wid many blanks...!!! Are these sufferings severe enough to end one's life??? The level of tolerance of miseries is different for every individual. Some may cope with the stressors upto the acute extent, while some may give up at slightest of pain. Humanatarian and Existential Psychologists say Man should be allowed to use his free will, they reject any kind of determinism from any external factor.
They are free to live, so they should be free to die also. But how many want to die.. its only those who out of depression choose death over living. Otherwise there are uncountable no. of those who are suffering from severest of miseries, but still surviving. Thou all know that Death is inevitable, still everyone wants to keep it at the farthest end, its the ultimate desire to touch infinite.
Where as those who commit/attemt suicide perhaps loose all hope in life. I dont feel that their reasons for such decisions were because that life wasnt worth living for them anymore, rather because they were weaker souls/selfs, who were not able to cope up with, to face the hard core realities n struggles of life as well they were lacking a strong social support system in the face of their family and friends.
Escapism is always easier than meeting challenges. By ending one's life, one gets relieved from his miseries, but leave unanswred questions/never ending problems for his loved ones. Do these people feel that the reason for their living has ended with that one failure, be it of anything.
If so then it leaves me with a question.... what's the purpose of existence? why we are living...? What are the reasons for survival...? These kinda painful incidences keep coming in one's life, so SHALL WE END OUR LIFE.....???
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Ai Waqt Rukja....!!!
We think very often that if gone times can come back, and we can live it in a different way. I ve found myself brooding many times,,,, IF I wud ve done that way at that particular time,,,,If I wud ve not taken that decision that time,,, If I wud ve chosen differently than what i did at a certain time in life...... and these thoughts alws remind me few lines from a song of DDLD......
Ai Waqt rukja , Tham ja , Thehar ja,,, Waapis zara daud peeche..........
Sometimes I wish,,,, Kaash Waqt ruk sakta, peeche laut sakta.... haalanki jeevan aage chalne ka naam hai.. and we all know whatever is gone, is gone, time never comes back..... still the desire to go back to old times never ends.
It's not that I regret any of my decisions in life, but as it always seems that perhaps The Road not Taken had been more attractive, uselful, and appropriate than the one we took on the paths of life.
Ai Waqt rukja , Tham ja , Thehar ja,,, Waapis zara daud peeche..........
Sometimes I wish,,,, Kaash Waqt ruk sakta, peeche laut sakta.... haalanki jeevan aage chalne ka naam hai.. and we all know whatever is gone, is gone, time never comes back..... still the desire to go back to old times never ends.
It's not that I regret any of my decisions in life, but as it always seems that perhaps The Road not Taken had been more attractive, uselful, and appropriate than the one we took on the paths of life.
Friday, June 1, 2007
Surfing Web from the Office !!!
Many people who have I-Net facility in their offices, which is very common in many corporate offices, surf the web for their personal purposes like e-mails, chatting, blogs, shopping etc. from the official network. Employers hardly used to bother about it. Lately many employers are getting stricter about Internet access for other than official work and web surfing for leisure at work. Many American companies are really on top of this. The computer forensic examiners are hired in companies to investigate computer misuse.
Computer security experts say there are four reasons why employees block site access -
- Security - The companies are most concerned about security and that is why sites such as MySpace are blocked. There are numerous sites that can install adware or spyware onto a computer. Also there are online storage and file-sharing sites, that can be used to share proprietary information.
- Legal liability – Employees that are allowed to surf indiscriminately can expose their employers to legal problems. If employees see pornography, hate sites, extreme religious sites and so forth, that is a lawsuit waiting to happen.
- Productivity – Having employees spend their work day posting to personal blogs, chatting, planning wedding and vacations, shopping online, researching family genealogy, day trading, horoscopes, participating in online dating services or loosing money on gambling sites, keeps employees from doing the jobs they were hired to do.
- Bandwidth problem - Workers who go online or download programs may create a bandwidth problem and bog down the speed of network operations. Downloading music or movies slows down the system. If employees are messing around on sites other than work, that could slow down the resources of others who are really trying to work, so companies just say our work computers are for work.
Some companies are putting up caution messages, when employees log on to their system, it says : "This system is for authorized business use only. Unauthorized access or activity is a violation of law. All system activity is subject to monitoring for security purposes". Expect more employers to block more web portals such as AOL, Yahoo and MSN. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(Adapted from Hindustan Times)
The Other Side of the Story/ Employees’ perspective –After reading this article, I interacted with few of my friends who has I-Net access at the office and surf web other than office work during working hours, and sought their opinion. As per them,
- Net surfing in between the official work comes as a refreshing experience. It breaks the monotony of work.
- They also feel that it enhances Net-working skills.
- As well they are able to connect to their friends which is very difficult otherwise in this so much busy working schedule of theirs.
In my mind, one more question arises ----- How Ethical it is ?
Looking fwd to the opinion of worthy jatlanders….. what do you say…?
You are most welcome with your views - Pro as well as Con.
Tuesday, May 15, 2007
WINGS OF FIRE
Today I was going through Prez Dr APJ Abdul Kalam's Autobiography again, n savoured the lines of wisdom once more, then felt like sharing with all. So here'r some quotes from the book (with slight modifications). Hope who have gone thru the book , wont mind reading them again.
"We are all born with a divine fire in us. Our efforts should be to give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness."
" With faith, you can change your destiny."
"To strive to control thy thoughts and thy mind and, through these, to influence thy destiny."
"To succeed in life and achieve results, you must understand and master three mighty forces- desire, belief, and expectation.''
" Let God be your hope, your stay, your guide and provide the lantern for your feet in your journey into the future."
" If come across failure, accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. What you are destined to achieve in future is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence. Become one with yourself and surrender yourself to the wish of God."
"Once your mind stretches to a new level, it never goes back to its original dimension."
"Those things that hurt instruct!"
"Bread baked without love is a bitter bread that feeds but half a man's hunger,"~Khalil Gibran. Those who cannot work with their hearts achieve but a hollow, half-hearted success that breeds bitterness all around.
"All reasonable men adapt themselves to the world. Only a few unreasonable ones persist in trying to adapt the world to themselves. All progress in the world depends on these unreasonable men and their innovative and often non-conformist actions."
"We are all born with a divine fire in us. Our efforts should be to give wings to this fire and fill the world with the glow of its goodness."
" With faith, you can change your destiny."
"To strive to control thy thoughts and thy mind and, through these, to influence thy destiny."
"To succeed in life and achieve results, you must understand and master three mighty forces- desire, belief, and expectation.''
" Let God be your hope, your stay, your guide and provide the lantern for your feet in your journey into the future."
" If come across failure, accept your destiny and go ahead with your life. What you are destined to achieve in future is not revealed now but it is predetermined. Forget this failure, as it was essential to lead you to your destined path. Search, instead, for the true purpose of your existence. Become one with yourself and surrender yourself to the wish of God."
"Once your mind stretches to a new level, it never goes back to its original dimension."
"Those things that hurt instruct!"
"Bread baked without love is a bitter bread that feeds but half a man's hunger,"~Khalil Gibran. Those who cannot work with their hearts achieve but a hollow, half-hearted success that breeds bitterness all around.
"All reasonable men adapt themselves to the world. Only a few unreasonable ones persist in trying to adapt the world to themselves. All progress in the world depends on these unreasonable men and their innovative and often non-conformist actions."
Sunday, May 13, 2007
HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY
Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers and the would be mothers.
Thou' all days belong to mothers, and the bond between a mother and child is too strong to restrict itself to merely superficial celebrations on one such day. But I feel this isn't just about the celebrations n gifts etc., but surely this one day gives the opportunity to express our love for our mothers n thanking her for being there always supporting us. No doubt we love our mothers unconditionally but not always be able to say so. Feelings n emotions if expressed rightly are the sweetest, I believe.
As Karan Johar said in Kabhi khushi........, "It's all about loving your parents" And its never too late to say so....so I take this opportunity to say "I love you Mom".. for all the love you showered always,, for complying with my wants n wishes thou they might nt be reasonable alws, for always giving the best of lot, whatever it was, n above all for the delicious food made by you which has no match !
Jewish proverb says, God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. I do not know (by experience) what it's to be a mother, Hope to experience the same some day. "AMEN "
Thou' all days belong to mothers, and the bond between a mother and child is too strong to restrict itself to merely superficial celebrations on one such day. But I feel this isn't just about the celebrations n gifts etc., but surely this one day gives the opportunity to express our love for our mothers n thanking her for being there always supporting us. No doubt we love our mothers unconditionally but not always be able to say so. Feelings n emotions if expressed rightly are the sweetest, I believe.
As Karan Johar said in Kabhi khushi........, "It's all about loving your parents" And its never too late to say so....so I take this opportunity to say "I love you Mom".. for all the love you showered always,, for complying with my wants n wishes thou they might nt be reasonable alws, for always giving the best of lot, whatever it was, n above all for the delicious food made by you which has no match !
Jewish proverb says, God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers. I do not know (by experience) what it's to be a mother, Hope to experience the same some day. "AMEN "
Friday, May 11, 2007
Hierarchies of Life.....!!! Thank God, there's No limit
Life is a hierarchy....we keep moving step by step. Growth is also a process of these hierarchies - be it physical, social, emotional, mental, or personal growth.Or call them "paaydaans" of life. One goal attained, we set our aspirations for another aim and mostly a higher one. As the human needs are arranged in a hierarchy, first come the basic biological needs; they satisfied, next come safety needs, we want to preserve for the future; once they are met, we look for love n belongingness, the social n emotional needs. Majority of people reach to this level, next step is of self esteem,,,, when we feel secure in all these lower levels,,, we maintain our self esteem higher than the social esteem. And on the highest level comes, the need for Self-Actualization , i.e. the realization of the potential to the maximum. Every one has a high potential, which hardly one utilizes. Mostly we are entangled with these lower level needs of physical n materialistic grabbing and dealing with personal and social relational issues. Very few people try to explore their selves to the most depths and then to bring it to the reality of action. There are two processes necessary for self-actualization: self exploration and action. The deeper the self exploration, the closer one comes to self-actualization.
There's no limit to the personal growth, Sometimes I wonder, just imagine if some limit is set on the exploration, on the growth, how would be the life??? Most people, if not all, wud be able to reach that limit, then what…… ??? How saturated one wud feel if the capacity to think, to imagine is marked,,… what wud you do if you cant think beyond that capacity……!!! May be there’ll be lot of anxiety, unrest, discontent, haphazardness, n restlessness.
Thank God, there’s no Limit.
There's no limit to the personal growth, Sometimes I wonder, just imagine if some limit is set on the exploration, on the growth, how would be the life??? Most people, if not all, wud be able to reach that limit, then what…… ??? How saturated one wud feel if the capacity to think, to imagine is marked,,… what wud you do if you cant think beyond that capacity……!!! May be there’ll be lot of anxiety, unrest, discontent, haphazardness, n restlessness.
Thank God, there’s no Limit.
Friday, May 4, 2007
IQ, EQ & SQ
For long, the world gave much importance to Intelligence Quotient. In mid-1990s, findings in neuroscience and psychology stressed the importance of Emotional Quotient (EQ). In 2000, however, a new dimension to human intelligence was introduced, i.e. Spiritual Quotient (or SQ). Spiritual intelligence is the ultimate intelligence. This is the intelligence used to solve problems of meaning and value. "Is my job giving me the fulfillment I seek?" "Am I relating to the people in my life in a way that contributes to their happiness and mine?" Answers to these questions determine whether we will find happiness or not. IQ and EQ are inadequate in such issues.
On a spiritual note, EQ involves freeing ourselves from our own emotional baggage and the conditioning of our early life and the expectations of others. Such shedding of 'stuff' is a prerequisite of any spiritual journey. Because then only we become aware of ourselves, and 'why' of the feelings and needs of others. Also, it helps realizing those values which we had heard about—like acceptance and unconditional love.
Spiritual Intelligence is about compassion and creativity, self-awareness and self-esteem, flexibility and gratitude. Thus what were once espoused by the great philosophers of the likes of Swami Vivekananda are once again being exhorted by the modern day corporate world.
SQ is about the growth of a human being. It is about moving on in life. About having a direction in life and being able to heal ourselves of all the resentment we carry. It is thinking of ourselves as an expression of a higher reality. It is also about how we look at the resources available to us. We realize that nature is not meant to be exploited. Ultimately, we discover freedom from our sense of limitation as human beings and attain "moksha".
SQ is about pondering over life's purpose. Just being in touch with that question is fulfilling. As we move along the path, deeper levels of self get unfolded, leading to fulfillment. Humans are essentially spiritual beings, evolved to ask fundamental questions. "Who am I?" "Where am I going?" "What do others mean to me?" It is an ability to answer questions like these that lead people to personal growth workshops.
Spiritual intelligence also addresses the need to place one's life in a shared context of value. The transformative power of SQ distinguishes it from IQ and EQ. IQ primarily solves logical problems. EQ allows us to judge the situation we are in and behave appropriately. SQ allows us to ask if we want to be in that situation in the first place. It might motivate us to create a new one.
SQ has little connection to formal religion. Atheists and humanists may have high SQ while someone actively religious may not. It’s more concerned about the humanist point of view. Of course, this is culture specific, with Westerners responding to ideas of 'God' and Buddhists and Hindus responding to certain symbols.
The awakening of our spiritual intelligence may be a time of great joy and meaning and may pave a way for personal growth and a feeling of being in control. We use spiritual intelligence to transform ourselves and others, heal relationship, cope with grief, and move beyond conditioned habits of the past. To develop high SQ, each person needs to approach the task according to his/her personality.
_____________
On a spiritual note, EQ involves freeing ourselves from our own emotional baggage and the conditioning of our early life and the expectations of others. Such shedding of 'stuff' is a prerequisite of any spiritual journey. Because then only we become aware of ourselves, and 'why' of the feelings and needs of others. Also, it helps realizing those values which we had heard about—like acceptance and unconditional love.
Spiritual Intelligence is about compassion and creativity, self-awareness and self-esteem, flexibility and gratitude. Thus what were once espoused by the great philosophers of the likes of Swami Vivekananda are once again being exhorted by the modern day corporate world.
SQ is about the growth of a human being. It is about moving on in life. About having a direction in life and being able to heal ourselves of all the resentment we carry. It is thinking of ourselves as an expression of a higher reality. It is also about how we look at the resources available to us. We realize that nature is not meant to be exploited. Ultimately, we discover freedom from our sense of limitation as human beings and attain "moksha".
SQ is about pondering over life's purpose. Just being in touch with that question is fulfilling. As we move along the path, deeper levels of self get unfolded, leading to fulfillment. Humans are essentially spiritual beings, evolved to ask fundamental questions. "Who am I?" "Where am I going?" "What do others mean to me?" It is an ability to answer questions like these that lead people to personal growth workshops.
Spiritual intelligence also addresses the need to place one's life in a shared context of value. The transformative power of SQ distinguishes it from IQ and EQ. IQ primarily solves logical problems. EQ allows us to judge the situation we are in and behave appropriately. SQ allows us to ask if we want to be in that situation in the first place. It might motivate us to create a new one.
SQ has little connection to formal religion. Atheists and humanists may have high SQ while someone actively religious may not. It’s more concerned about the humanist point of view. Of course, this is culture specific, with Westerners responding to ideas of 'God' and Buddhists and Hindus responding to certain symbols.
The awakening of our spiritual intelligence may be a time of great joy and meaning and may pave a way for personal growth and a feeling of being in control. We use spiritual intelligence to transform ourselves and others, heal relationship, cope with grief, and move beyond conditioned habits of the past. To develop high SQ, each person needs to approach the task according to his/her personality.
_____________
Thursday, May 3, 2007
IQ versus EQ
All are familiar with the term IQ (Intelligent Quotient) which has become so much of public parlance that the term is greatly distorted and many a times used as malicious abuse that such and such person has no IQ (Akal). On a scientific note, IQ is the measure of cognitive abilities, such as the ability to learn, to understand, to think rationally and to deal with new situations. A person's IQ greatly predicts what he shall make out of life. So far so good.
But Psychologists have lately been focusing attention on EQ (Emotional Quotient) which is a measure of your emotional intelligence, or your ability to use both your emotions and cognitive skills in your life. The Greek Philosopher Aristotle had a recipe for handling relationships smoothly. You must be able; he said “to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way”. Psychologists call such self-control “Emotional Intelligence”. It is a major element of satisfying life.
Emotional Intelligence refers to a combination of skills. These include empathy, self-control, self-awareness, sensitivity to the feelings of others, persistence, self-motivation, intuition, creativity, flexibility, resilience, coping, stress management, leadership, integrity, authenticity, intrapersonal skills and interpersonal skills and above all, ability to maintain hope and an optimistic outlook in the face of disappointments and difficulties - all those traits that are prerequisites to make success in life.
People who excel in life tend to be emotionally intelligent. On the other hand, the costs of poor emotional skills can be high. They range from the problems in social life to poor physical health. A lack of emotional intelligence can ruin careers and sabotage achievement. Perhaps the greatest toll falls on children and teenagers. For them, poor emotional skills can contribute to depression, eating problems, unwanted pregnancy, aggression, and violent crime.
Recent research shows that your emotional quotient (EQ) might be a better predictor of success than your intellectual quotient (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. People with higher EQ are more likely to do well in life as it defines how good one feels about oneself and how tuned they are to themselves. If you are on a ride of high self-esteem then you will be more likely to perform better than others suffering lowered self-esteem. As simple as that! Sometimes it has been seen that individuals with higher EQ and not higher IQ necessarily make more success in their lives in comparison to individuals who have higher IQ but lower EQ. It may be because EQ prepares a person to lead his peers, take decisions and nurture better relationships.
Moreover, unlike IQ, your emotional quotient is not an inborn trait rather is a skill that can be taught and facilitated in individuals who deviate significantly from the norm in their intellectual intelligence (IQ). Sometimes it is found that highly intelligent children can not develop bonds with their peers and may feel left out from the group. As a result, such children may enter their adulthood with weak self-esteem and defensive behavior designed to ward off uncomfortable and unrewarding personal interactions. Loneliness and feelings of isolation are common features of highly gifted people who have not been taught to bridge the emotional and social gulf between themselves and the majority population. Thus EQ is much more imporatnt for success in life rather than IQ and the best part is that EQ can be fostered. With proper nurturing of EQ, gifted children can be brought into mainstream while children with lower IQs be fostered with abilities to march ahead in life.
Despite EQ being a more reliable predictor of academic achievement than is the IQ and can be learned, yet, it is neglected in our education both at home and at school to the peril of young students. Thus, need of the hour is to make it integral part of curriculum since in today’s consumerist world, children often seem to lack the ability to empathize, negotiate and cooperate, and also suffer from lack of optimism and feel hopeless about the future due to the demands and pressures that pull them in various directions. This void has potentially negative consequences, first on their academic achievement and second on their interpersonal relationships which ultimately have dire consequences with regard to their psychosocial development and lead to behavior problems, alienation, and even aggression and violence. Hence, inclusion of nurturing EQ in education is important so that these young children grow up into confident adults.
But Psychologists have lately been focusing attention on EQ (Emotional Quotient) which is a measure of your emotional intelligence, or your ability to use both your emotions and cognitive skills in your life. The Greek Philosopher Aristotle had a recipe for handling relationships smoothly. You must be able; he said “to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way”. Psychologists call such self-control “Emotional Intelligence”. It is a major element of satisfying life.
Emotional Intelligence refers to a combination of skills. These include empathy, self-control, self-awareness, sensitivity to the feelings of others, persistence, self-motivation, intuition, creativity, flexibility, resilience, coping, stress management, leadership, integrity, authenticity, intrapersonal skills and interpersonal skills and above all, ability to maintain hope and an optimistic outlook in the face of disappointments and difficulties - all those traits that are prerequisites to make success in life.
People who excel in life tend to be emotionally intelligent. On the other hand, the costs of poor emotional skills can be high. They range from the problems in social life to poor physical health. A lack of emotional intelligence can ruin careers and sabotage achievement. Perhaps the greatest toll falls on children and teenagers. For them, poor emotional skills can contribute to depression, eating problems, unwanted pregnancy, aggression, and violent crime.
Recent research shows that your emotional quotient (EQ) might be a better predictor of success than your intellectual quotient (IQ), despite an assumption that people with high IQs will naturally accomplish more in life. People with higher EQ are more likely to do well in life as it defines how good one feels about oneself and how tuned they are to themselves. If you are on a ride of high self-esteem then you will be more likely to perform better than others suffering lowered self-esteem. As simple as that! Sometimes it has been seen that individuals with higher EQ and not higher IQ necessarily make more success in their lives in comparison to individuals who have higher IQ but lower EQ. It may be because EQ prepares a person to lead his peers, take decisions and nurture better relationships.
Moreover, unlike IQ, your emotional quotient is not an inborn trait rather is a skill that can be taught and facilitated in individuals who deviate significantly from the norm in their intellectual intelligence (IQ). Sometimes it is found that highly intelligent children can not develop bonds with their peers and may feel left out from the group. As a result, such children may enter their adulthood with weak self-esteem and defensive behavior designed to ward off uncomfortable and unrewarding personal interactions. Loneliness and feelings of isolation are common features of highly gifted people who have not been taught to bridge the emotional and social gulf between themselves and the majority population. Thus EQ is much more imporatnt for success in life rather than IQ and the best part is that EQ can be fostered. With proper nurturing of EQ, gifted children can be brought into mainstream while children with lower IQs be fostered with abilities to march ahead in life.
Despite EQ being a more reliable predictor of academic achievement than is the IQ and can be learned, yet, it is neglected in our education both at home and at school to the peril of young students. Thus, need of the hour is to make it integral part of curriculum since in today’s consumerist world, children often seem to lack the ability to empathize, negotiate and cooperate, and also suffer from lack of optimism and feel hopeless about the future due to the demands and pressures that pull them in various directions. This void has potentially negative consequences, first on their academic achievement and second on their interpersonal relationships which ultimately have dire consequences with regard to their psychosocial development and lead to behavior problems, alienation, and even aggression and violence. Hence, inclusion of nurturing EQ in education is important so that these young children grow up into confident adults.
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