My Article on "Saving the Girl Child" in the Indian Express today i.e. 16.12.2008

Here's the Link

http://epaper.indianexpress.com/IE/IEH/2008/12/16/ArticleHtmls/16_12_2008_543_004.shtml?Mode=0

‘Women need to be highlighted as a productive segment and not merely as a reproductive agency’

WHEN one talks of female foeticide, the first question that comes to mind is why people choose to kill their little ones before birth. Is it because of their preference for a male child or is it that the life of a girl is not safe and secure at any age?
There are many more problems that a female faces: finding a suitable groom for marriage, dowry deaths and gender discrimination among others.
What can be more dreadful than the thought that a mother is poisoned for delivering a baby girl — an incident that took place recently in district Hoshiarpur of Punjab. No wonder, therefore, India ranks 113th among 130 countries as far as gender equality is concerned.
It does not require a trained statistician or researcher to predict the alarming implications of this trend. This cynical attitude has al ready sown the seeds of our destruction.
As Khalil Gibran wrote: “You delight in laying down laws; yet you delight more in breaking them”.
One cannot ensure effective implementation of the laws until an action plan like the experiment of Nawashahar, wherein pregnant women were monitored to restrain them from female foeticide, is undertaken. This kind of policing is, however, neither practical nor ethical.
Female foeticide is too complex a crisis to be tackled by law alone. An integrated approach must be adopted. All forms of media, the administration, the legal entities, medical professionals, social reform groups and religious organisations should be involved to ensure the participation of the public.
The district Rohtak in Haryana with a gender ratio of 1,100 girls as compared to 835 in the state has set an example.
Its comprehensive action-oriented campaign has been successful in changing the mindset of the people of the region. Encouraging schemes by government agencies like the pregnant mother safety program, providing incentives and help to mothers and health depart ment’s vigilant program has helped the cause.
The help of the media was also sought in highlighting the achievements and success stories of the girls of Rohtak in almost all the fields. The “Save Daughters” rally by Aryasamajis in the region also played a significant role in changing the mentality of people.
A powerful communication and awareness programme is required to shake the conscience of the masses and sensitise them towards the consequences of the sin they are committing.
The role of women needs to be highlighted as an integral and productive segment of the society, and not merely as a reproductive agency.
When there won’t be any reason to worry about the female child, her life, her safety and security, a happy and healthy life for her would no longer be a dream.

मृगतृष्णा / Mirage

इस मरुचिका में भटकती
मृगतृष्णा सी मेरी आस
जैसे मृग को है दौड़ाती
उसके सूखे कंठ की प्यास

कभी सुलझती फिर उलझती
अनेकों नए प्रशनों के साथ
भूलभुलैया सी है आती
जीवन पथ में हर नयी प्रातः

Open yourself

If we want to be loved, we must disclose ourselves. If we want to love someone, he must permit us to know him. This would seem to be obvious. Yet most of us spend a great part of our lives thinking up ways to avoid becoming known.Indeed, much of human life is best described as impersonation. We are role players, every one of us. We say that we feel things we do not feel. We say things we did not do. We say that we believe things we do not believe. We pretend that we are loving when we are full of hostility. We pretend that we are calm and indifferent when we are actually trembling with anxiety and fear.Of course we cannot tell even the people we know and love everything we think or feel. But our mistakes are nearly always in the other direction. Even in families -- good families -- people wear masks a great deal of the time.

Horizon : The perfect Illusion

Horizon keeps me calling
The sky seems falling
To embrace the earth
There is no dearth
In love to merge
with the splurge
I witness their union
Thou' its in oblivion
They are so happy and gay
Vast sea blocks my way.

Ai Khuda apni rehmat ka itna karam ker de
ke is sehra mein bhi thodi bahar aa jaye
aur kab tak lega yun sabr ka imtihaan
Teri inayat se pehle na kahin hum mar jayen

Fear Factor

Fear is life's only true opponent. Only fear can defeat life. It is a clever, treacherous adversary, how well I know. It has no decency, respects no law or convention, shows no mercy. It goes for your weakest spot, which it finds with unerring ease. It begins in your mind, always. One moment you are feeling calm, self-possessed,happy. Then fear, disguised in the garb of mild-mannered doubt, slips into your mind like a spy. Doubt meets disbeliefand disbelief tries to push it out. But disbelief is a poorly armed foot soldier. Doubt does away with it withlittle trouble. You become anxious. Reason comes to do battle for yu. You are reassured. Reason is fully equipped with the latest weapons technology. But, to your amazement, despite superior tactics and a number of undeniable victories, reason is laid low. You feel yourself weakening, wavering. Your anxiety becomes dread.
Fear next turns fully to your body,which is already aware that something terrily wrong is going on. Already your lungshave flown away like a bird and your guts have slithered away like a snake. Now your tounguedrops dead like a opossum, while your jaws begins to gallop on the spot. Your ears go deaf. Your muscles begin to shiver as if they had malaria and your knees to shake as though they were dancing. Your heart strains so hard, while your sphincter relaxes too much. And so with the rest of your body. Every part of you, in the manner most suited to it, fallsapart. Only your eyes work well. They always pay proper attention to fear.

The Utmost Fighter

Excerpt from a Booker Prize winner book. It is about the situations which make you either the real winner or the ultimate looser. Situations in which you realize your real potential and exercize it to overcome the odds.

Language founders in such seas. Better to picture it in your head if you want to feel it.
The finite within the infinite, the infinite within the finite.
I discovered at that moment that I have a fierce will to live. It's not something evident, in my experience. Some of us give up on life with only a resigned sigh; others fight a little, then loose hope. Still others-and I am one of those-never give up. We fight and fight and fight. We fight no matter the cost of battle, the losses we take, the improbability of success. We fight to the very end. It's not a question of courage. It's something constitutional, an inability to let go. It may be nothing more than life-hungry stupidity.

When You Were Sleeping

Wake up, Please wake Up !
I wanna see you being awake
The eyes which look so b'ful in sleep
How they'll look with that glitter of light
But however I may wheedle
You wont listen, 'll not get up
As no one comes back to life
From that Eternal Sleep !!!

I Owe !!!

वो तेरा एक दिन अचानक यूँ मुझसे मिलना याद आता है
और फिर मेरा ही होके रह जाना याद आता है
यूँ तो लबरेज़ थे गम से हम भी तुम भी
पर तेरा फिर भी खिलखिलाना याद आता है
तुझसे मिलके सीखा हमने भी मुस्कुराना
अब कहाँ वो बीता ज़माना याद आता है

आँखें जब किया करती थी आँखों से बातें
बिन कुछ कहे भी सब कह जाना याद आता है
कितनी यादें संजोयी हमने उन लम्हों की
हर पल मुझे वो उनका अंदाज़ रूमानी याद आता है
और जो न किया कैद मिट सकने वाली यादों में
वो दिल में महफूज़ हर पल ख़ास याद आता है

Happiness

Happiness is a choice we have to make. Its not something we have to look outside.... it lies within the beings.
Happiness in itself can not be a destination but is experienced in the journey of life by those who concentrate on making their contributions to making the world a better place to live. The results is strife in every sphere of life and struggle to find peace. Peace is a prerequisite for progress in any sphere, whether it is emotional, intelligence or spiritual.

Happiness is integral to the well-being. What makes one Happy, the criteria or sources of happiness can be different for diff beings. One of most important index of happiness is Free Will, which hardly people recognize. In this sacrifising, compromising and conforming world of ours, we keep succumbing to others desires always, never recongnizing and trying to exercise our own will.
There are two selves of any being...one his real self - what he's, what he wants, and what he wud like to do given the option ; secondly there's an ideal self - where the individual does what is expected of him. When there's too much of gap between these 2 selves, they lead to disintegration and maladjustment of personality. more the overlapping in real n ideal self, better adjusted n integreted will be the personality.
Freedom to choice should be ones right and he should be allowed to exercise it freely without any pressures.
This kinda freedom to exercise free will will enhance the self and will help to emerge into a happy n healthy being.

Experiences of Life.....Contd....II

Once I wrote about experiences of life,,,where I talked about successes n failures.... To continue....

Believe me, failures scare you only till you face them. Once you are through them, they fill you with a new energy n courage. Heard the saying, COME WHAT MAY....this kind of strength to deal with situations they provide us. Thou' it is very important to cope with the failures in life. Agreed society ll leave no stone unturned to make you realize that you are "Dharti Ke Bojh"... 'Good for Nothing',,,but its the real test of your strengths, your self confidence. When we face failure for quite a time, self-confidence starts shattering, more so becus the insignificant others around us make us feel more negatively. This whole scenario works as a disease of soul, when you aren't successful for long enough and to worsen it you have such people around you who keep you realizing that you are a loser, you start doubting yourself even though you know this is not your fault. The situation can worsen even more when the guilt comes, and the person developes learned helplessness. Person becomes hundred percent convinced that he's Good for Nothing. And here you loose all your confidence. Don't be scared in such times, and you ll get your confidence back. In such times it is very important to maintain the self belief, to keep believing in oneself, ones potential, his abilities, and the faith that success may be far, may be difficult to attain; but not unattainable. Self-confidence is equally important for success.
Of course you ll face rough weather, turbulence and much more. However, remember never to give up. Keep your head steady n high and march ahead, success will be yours.

Peak experiences

"Feelings of limitless horizons opening up to the vision, the feeling of being simultaneously more powerful and also more helpless than one ever was before, the feeling of ecstasy and wonder and awe, the loss of placement in time and space with, finally, the conviction that something extremely important and valuable had happened, so that the subject was to some extent transformed and strengthened even in his daily life by such experiences", Abraham Maslow.
Think of the most wonderful experience or experiences of your life--the happiest moments, ecstatic moments, moments of rapture, perhaps from being in live, or from listening to music or suddenly "being hit" by a book or a painting or from some great creative moment, a burst of insight, a betrothal, or the birth of a baby. The mystic experience when individuals usually have experiences in which they literally feel they are floating. They feel very much in tune or at one with the world around them, and almost feel as if they are, for a momentary period in time, part of a different reality.The experience fills the individual with wonder and awe. They have a special flavour of reverance, of humility and surrender before the experience as before something great.Peak experiences are profound moments in a person's life, sudden feelings of intense happiness and well-being. He feels at one with the world and is pleased with it; he or she has seen the ultimate truth or the essence of all things.Accompanying these experiences is a heightened sense of control over the body and emotions, and a wider sense of awareness, as though one was standing upon a mountaintop.
Thou' rare, but If try to look back into your life, you’ll find some such experience in your life, when you certainly would have thought that you are on the top of the world. Would appreciate if you think over n come up sharing your such peak experiences in life… even if one in a life, it must have been worth for a life long memory.

Two Perspectives of Women

Trust and the freedom to chase dreams is the best gift for anyone, but it's still a distant dream for many Indian women.Lemme share with you two different perspectives of women in the form of these poems.

Human nature is such
That if you sit, they'll say, "No, don't sit."
And if you stand, " What's the matter? Walk!"
And if you walk, " Shame on you, Sit down!"
If you so much as lie down, they'll order, "Get up!"
If you don't lie down, no respite, "Lie down."

I'm wasting my days getting up and sitting down.
If I'm dying right now, they speak up, "Live."
If they see me living, who knows when they'll say, "Shame on you, die!"
In fear, I secretly go on living.
------------------------------- Taslima Nasrin

Now the other view -

I'm going to move ahead.
Behind me my whole family is calling,
My child is pulling my saree-end,
My husband stands blocking the door,
But I will go.
There's nothing ahead but a river.
I will cross.
I know how to swim,
but they won't let me swim, won't let me cross.
There's nothing on the other side of the river
but a vast expanse of fields,
But I'll touch this emptiness once and run
against the wind, whose whoosing sound
makes me want to dance.
I'll dance somedayand then return.
I've not played keep-away for years
as I did in childhood.
I'll raise a great commotion playing keep-away someday
and then return.
For years I haven't cried with my head
in the lap of solitude.
I'll cry to my heart's content some
day and then return.
There's nothing ahead but a river,
and I know how to swim.
Why shouldn't I go?
I will go.
---------------- Anonymous

Life & Death

On the Life-Death relationship, few lines -

The reason death sticks so closely to life isn't biological necessaity- it's ENVY. Life is so beautiful that death has fallen in love with it, a jealous, possessive love that grabs at what it can. But life leaps over oblivion lightly, loosing only a thing or two of no importance, and gloom is but the passing shadow of a cloud.

Day Dreaming

मैं जितनी दूर मंजिल की तलाश में चलता गया
मुझे अपना ही अक्स कुछ बदलता सा लगा
जब पहुँचा उस मंजिल पे जिसकी मुझे तलाश थी
क्या देखा की ये मैं नहीं, ख्यालों में डूबी मेरी तन्हाई थी

Romancing With Life

Lately read my fav. evergreen Star DevAnand's autobiography "Romancing With Life". Liked these lines from the text, hence quoting here -

On his first journey to fulfil the dreams -
I was new to the sea. I had never seen it before. I suddenly felt my horizon broadening, I saw new vistas openingup before me, new resolutions emerging and speeding into my mind. From now onwards, my movements have to be as fast as the train that's taking me to my destination, I told myself, my spirits as high as my dreams I came with. My will as strong as my desire to achieve, and my determination as deep as the ocean I am heading for. A strnage force was being lit inside me, thrusting me forward.
While success was eluding-
I was always carefree and took everything in my stride, always waiting for that 'very special ray of sunshine'to fall upon me. That ray was still eluding me, and I was sure the game of hide-and-seek was taking so long because I was the best. I had only to wait for the right moment.

On the success of Guide -
Personally for me the most rewarding award was that I had dared to gamble on a bold subject and come away with accolades. When you are going into a territory hitherto unknown and obscure, away from the beated path, the world often laughs at you and ridicules you. But the moment you meet with success on the same offbeat path, the same world hails andcheers you. That's the way of the world; it is very fickle minded and is always on the side of the winner.

Nothing succeeds like success. Taking risks can at times be dangerous. but they are worth taking nevertheless, for without risks, there can be no extraordinary achievement.

I'd Do...

I’d give anything to see the sun set on the horizon,
I’d do anything to gaze at a full moon in the night sky;

Even a rainbow would make me smile,
And I’d love to swim in crystal clear waters
Of an untouched sea;

Sometimes I’ll see a shooting star,
And try to gaze from afar,
All the diamonds in the night sky;

The mist on the mountains is breathtaking,
As is walking in rainforest;

To see cascading waterfalls I’d do anything for,
As to stand on the highest peak in the world,
And look at the sights below;

I’d love to soar on wings above the clouds,
Across the bluest skies;

I’d do anything to see
All the beautiful things in the world,
Like a red rose blooming in the Sahara,
Like a river twisting through a dusty land,
All the beautiful things in the world.

But I also know I am looking at
The world’s most beautiful creation,
Every time you smile,
And every time I look into your eyes.

Spaces in Togetherness

From break-ups, divorces to general tension in the household, believe it or not but lack of space in relationships can have disastrous results. And yet it takes very little to let your partner get in touch with his or her self. Here’s how…

Respect your partner’s need for personal space:

Though rather philosophical, Khalil Gibran’s words on Marriage are as practical as they are poetic - “…But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you. Love one another but make not a bond of love…For the pillars of the temple stand apart, and the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”

Each person needs some time alone to gather oneself. This may mean taking out time for oneself only. So while your partner is immersed in a book, spending time watching a game with his friends or is out watching a movie with her friends, it does not mean he or she is losing interest in the relationship. It’s rather a healthy sign of wanting to grow, of desire to enhance the quality of one’s life.

Use this time to discover your own space:

Before you met your partner and made a hobby out of him or her, there must have been leisure time activities that helped you let go of your worries, helped you discover your true potential and filled you with a general feeling of hope. These activities could range from cooking, reading, hanging out with friends, writing a journal etc. Rediscover the lost interests and grow in life.

Planning for a future together is one of the charming aspects of a serious relationship. When suddenly you put your interests as a couple before anything you may want individually. While this is a perfect state of affairs, losing your sense as an individual in the long run will not bode well for the relationship. You may turn possessive, demanding and critical. While learning to let go and loosening the strings will not only help the couple stay in love but will help them develop respect for each other.

Don’t lose the focus on ‘we’ all the same:

A word of caution- Your need for space may seem like indifference to your partner. Ensure that you spend enough quality time together. Encourage your partner to develop an interest. And if your partner’s need for space is high, instead of nagging and jabbing about his or her interests, be understanding to their needs.

• All one needs is a couple of hours every week. A visit to the beauty salon over the weekend, catching up with friends over a movie or a game, going for music lessons…just set your self free of any responsibilities and make sure that your partner gets such time off too.

• Surprise one another by taking house work and kids off your partner’s hands once in a while.

• Acknowledge and reciprocate such gestures. Take the kids out for a couple of hours so that your spouse may enjoy a bubblebath or catch up on sleep.

If that wont make love grow, what will?

One Haryanvi Song I Adore

"Manne ibke bachale meri maa e bateu aaya levan nai"
This song from the first Haryanvi film "Bahuraani", I listened countless times since it was released..... then the cassette gave in to repeted playing....n after that the music of BAhuraani wasn't available in the market.... and I missed two of my fav songs from the album for years..... Finally,,,thanks to my friend Harvinder,,, I got to hear the soul soothing sweet music of this song with symbolic lyrics again on iShare.
The song is symbolic with a spiritual meaning. The last antara(stanza) of the song talks about the ultimate certainty n reality of life,,,i.e. Death.
Here's the link for all to enjoy.....

http://ishare.rediff.com/filemusic-B...-id-110547.php

LOHRI ! Is it Only a festival of Punjabis ?

As the North India is all set for Bonfire tomorrow on the occasion of Lohri, it comes to my mind, Is Lohri only a festival of punjabis'?
Amidst the freezing cold weather, with the temperature wobbling between 0-5 degrees Celsius and the dense fog outside, a palpable wave of activity going on. People are busy making preparations for Lohri — the long-awaited bonfire festival — when they can come out of their homes and celebrate the harvesting of the Rabi (winter) crops and give in to relaxing and enjoying the traditional folk songs and dances.
And while seeing all this hustle-bustle going on, I'm thinking why Lohri only for punjabis, and why we Jats dont celebrate it? I 'll agree most of us take part in these festivities with our punjabi friends, but as such its not a traditional mark of our Jat culture and we dont make it a point to celebrate Lohri as our neighbour folk does.
And here one more concern comes to my mind, while our traditional festivals like 'Teez' are almost loosing charm, Lohri's warmth is growing wid each passing year.
Any way, Happy Lohri to all of you. Enjoy the crispy revris, gajak and mungfallis(peanuts).